The F@#$in Title Says It All…

MAGNUM P.I.(MP)

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Magnums, we all know and LOVE them (especially getting to use them) but did you know that there are various kinds of Magnum condoms?? Yes I was surprised too, so we here at Random Blog have done research and come up with a handy guide to let you know which kind of Magnum to use in various situations:

1. The “Reggos” t_magnum_l_12box1This is the regular kind of Magnum, these are for all casual encounters, and for all occasions. They are easy to access because of the golden foil wrapper and also they let your partner know that you mean business.

2. The XL aka The Big Dog

trojan-magnum-xl1This is for when your just trying to show off, you donkey dick having muthaphucka!!! You know your punk ass can wear the regs you just trying to be extra!!! Thats why them shits come in that wack ass black pack, NOW, HA!!! ( lol)

3. The Heater

magwarmThese shits are for getting some Eskimo pussy, or fucking some chick in Michigan. I mean it should already be hot, unless your into fucking corpses or some shit like that. But if your up in Alaska and you run in to Sara Palin, these will come in handy!!! (just as John lol)

4. The Twister

trojan-mag-twisterSee this is for you cats that are wack in the sack, and need to do something before she finds a cat at Walmart with a box of number 2’s (Big Dogs). If your about grab these you might want to get a book of moves to cause after the 12 of these are gone she might be too.

5.The Skinny Boys

magthinThese are to use on those special ladies that have what we like to call “the Goods” that wet wet, and that right and tight. They are thin so you can feel all her goodness, and not have to worry about concentrating to hard cause shes got the damn bomb and you explode before the timer goes off, Tic Tic BOOM. If this does happen, just say “Baby your shit is too good”, make sure you can hit again and go back in.

6. The Ring

magnumringThis is for…uh, I dont know what these are for. I know its for some freaky shit though, I wonder do they need batteries. Imma do some research and get back to ya’ll on this one, unless someone out there knows and can tell me preferably a chick 🙂

I hope this quick guide can help you speed through your next selection at the drug store. And Trojan I want some money for this free advertising I just hooked ya’ll up with!!!!

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One response

  1. I’m not random I just think a lot.

    Random discussion about safe sex warms my soul and formulates a few random questions for me
    1. What about the balls? Like even with a condom one can still pass along the herp virus and other nasty infections. Why don’t they make an optional testicular cover to help keep the family jewels safe?
    2. If a guy gets oral with a condom on is the blast off warning still required? Like how does all that play out?
    3. And lastly why are female condoms so effen expensive? You can get 50 Ziplocs for $1.50 comparable to 3 female condoms for $8. Plastic is plastic! What a sexist society we live in!

    March 11, 2009 at 9:26 pm

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